Monday, February 21, 2005

Am I responsible?

The thing goes back to my childhood. Once at home I broke up the glass vase during playing. It was going to 4pm in clock. Maa was about to come from school. I was on the bed immersed in the book. But my eyes were not on really on it. My whole body was shaking in fear. Ma used to have equal quantity of love and pain for us. It was sure that Pinky or Deep will tell Ma about the vase. And I will get my share of punishment.

But no one told about the incident to Ma. I took didi in confidence that she will not tell her about the vase. I became the best discipline boy that evening. The news of breaking got leaked out after few days and by that time Ma’s mood was fine and she did not scold me much.

Although Ma was strict in the rules of schools and family (She is friend today, because we grew up :-) ) . But in those days anyone among we brothers and sisters commit mistakes we felt a group responsibility for that and let her manage the home. Till today in my social life there is some feeling of responsibility in me when there some vase or anything like this break. I feel guilt for such lose of property and feelings around me. Is my method is underestimating the self respect or correct?